We All Have Struggles

Hello people. 

So it has been another week. The weeks fly by here. No joke. But the days take forever.  What even is time. I feel like I should tell you all my struggle in this email. Maybe some of you need it. 

On my mission, I´ve always had regrets of what I´ve done before, stress about what I'm doing, and fear of what I'm going to do. It's been a constant struggle. Trying to balance those three aspects. But After doing some thinking and praying and studying. I found a treasure we all could benefit from. From a variety of conference talks, BYU devotionals, and chapters in the book of Mormon. I found what it is that I have been missing on my mission.

8 Now the sons of Mosiah were numbered among the unbelievers; and also one of the sons of Alma was numbered among them, he being called Alma, after his father; nevertheless, he became a very wicked and an idolatrous man. And he was a man of many words, and did speak much flattery to the people; therefore he led many of the people to do after the manner of his iniquities.

Now I'm not saying that I, or you, or any of us are like Alma the Younger. But we have all had a degree of something that makes us a hindrance to the church and to the Lord. But I don’t want to look at before Alma´s conversion. But put it into to our perspective.

My guess is that not many of us have had an experience like Alma. But we have all recovered from our regrets. But for some reason, they always haunt us. They make us useless to ourselves. And we feel so useless. Do you think Alma ever had that? Did he have regrets? OF COURSE HE DID. How could you not? I bet that every time he saw something wicked, he was reminded of himself. And of what he did. The ghost of his past never went away. But on Alma´s mission he had an area that tested him, he didn´t want to be there. The people were wicked. I have no doubt that he saw it and it only added to his pain and suffering. 

9 Now Satan had gotten great hold upon the hearts of the people of the city of Ammonihah; therefore they would not hearken unto the words of Alma.

10 Nevertheless Alma labored much in the spirit, wrestling with God in mighty prayer, that he would pour out his Spirit upon the people who were in the city; that he would also grant that he might baptize them unto repentance.

11 Nevertheless, they hardened their hearts, saying unto him: Behold, we know that thou art Alma; and we know that thou art high priest over the church which thou hast established in many parts of the land, according to your tradition; and we are not of thy church, and we do not believe in such foolish traditions.

Alma wanted to give up. He was done and ready to move on. I bet at some times he didn’t know what to do. He probably spent a lot of time on his knees asking God what to do. And the answer didn´t come. Until he made his decision.

13 Now when the people had said this, and withstood all his words, and reviled him, and spit upon him, and caused that he should be cast out of their city, he departed thence and took his journey towards the city which was called Aaron.

He left. He did what a lot of us would do. Run away from the problems. His past was a torment because he saw it every day, and the life he was living was a living nightmare. So what brought him comfort? How could Alma overcome this trial? 

14 And it came to pass that while he was journeying thither, being weighed down with sorrow, wading through much tribulation and anguish of soul, because of the wickedness of the people who were in the city of Ammonihah, it came to pass while Alma was thus weighed down with sorrow, behold an angel of the Lord appeared unto him, saying:

15 Blessed art thou, Alma; therefore, lift up thy head and rejoice, for thou hast great cause to rejoice; for thou hast been faithful in keeping the commandments of God from the time which thou receivedst thy first message from him. Behold, I am he that delivered it unto you.

16 And behold, I am sent to command thee that thou return to the city of Ammonihah, and preach again unto the people of the city; yea, preach unto them. Yea, say unto them, except they repent the Lord God will destroy them.

Ok so an Angel appeared to him, that was a boost. But look. It was the same angel the appeared to him at his miraculous conversion. So what do you think came to his mind? Probably his testimony. Probably the moment he realized the Christ is his savior. The sweetest moments probably popped in his mind. So what does that mean for us?? Yes, we are all imperfect, yes we make mistakes. And yes we have regrets. But what makes those regrets worse? Focusing on them. Focus on now. Christ IS your savior. He is HELPING you. 

We don´t need to have regrets because Christ wiped those away.
We don’t need to worry about now because He is our strength.
And we don’t need to worry about what will happen because we know where we are going. 

The gospel is cool guys. 

This week we spent a lot of time finding and teaching new investigators and helping the ones who are gonna get baptized. Not a lot of exciting things happened. But we found an 80-year-old man named Rosario. He lives an adobe hut. And is probably the most humble man I´ve met here on my mission. It was a cool moment when we met him, and you could see in his eyes that he knew he found the truth. 

I love you guys all so much! Keep it real. 

Elder Haws